Welcome

My life journey started in Budapest, Hungary in 1978. I chose a very much dysfunctional family, two abusive and alcoholic parents in a then communist country to born into as an only child. 

In my childhood I had the pleasure to spend my Summers and some years with my Grandparents in Germany, where I experienced a loving, caring, stable and supporting environment that I'm deeply grateful for. The rest of the time I was living with my depressed, alcoholic and physically, emotionally and verbally abusive Mother with I believe bipolar tendencies by the Buda Castle, in Budapest's nicest neighborhood. Until about the age of 12 I was learning to dance ballet at the Hungarian Dance Academy, and I was a decent student with a bit difficulty to connect. Unfortunately my Mother abused me so much that social services took me away and put me to my father's care, from where I couldn't travel anymore to my ballet classes and where I felt very much disconnected, he also had a drinking problem and was also abusive towards me.

When the judge asked me at a hearing who I wanted to live with, I answered confidently that with my Mother, it was still the better option from two bad ones...

My first introduction to energy healing was early on, my Mother finally quit alcohol and turned to spirituality, she took me to learn Reiki at age 13, which I enjoyed and was amazed by.

However the damage was already done and nothing could have saved me from myself, from the age of 14 I became a rebellious teenager, I ran away from "home" and finally at age 16 to get away from the toxic relationship with my Mother I moved out to a studio flat my Grandmother purchased for me just a few blocks away from where I grow up and started my adult life.

I was introduced to the nightlife, alcohol, sex, and fell in love with an addict , in the meantime I was attending High School and I worked part time mostly in the TV and modeling industry to make ends meet. As soon as I graduated I moved to Italy with 2 girlfriends where I learned the language,  and absorbed the culture. When I was 19 years old I fell in love again, this time with a married man, this relationship lasted about two years, it was passionate, but I was unhappy mostly due to the circumstances... This love story ended with a lot drama and I knew that I had to get as far as possible to leave it all behind. 

In 1998 my path took me to the United States, the land of opportunities, I knew very soon that this was a place that I would spend a big portion of my life at, as I just loved everything about it and felt more comfortable than ever before. I moved to LA, I enjoyed the party scene and high life of Hollywood.

In 2001 I met the Father of my 2 beautiful children.

I met a man who seemed kind, nice, fun, successful, caring and who wanted to be with me, unfortunately after a few happy months I realized that he was a liar, his name wasn't even true, he was older than he has told me, even his sign wasn't Leo, but Pieces... By this time I was happily pregnant with our Son, and I wanted him to have a Father to grow up with, so I decided to stick around and stand by him during a legal matter. We got married, and I had an amazing pregnancy, as I felt very connected to my unborn Son, I knew from day one that he would be a boy. 9/11 happened, financially there was struggle, but I was so happy to become a Mother. Tristan was born in the beginning of 2002 and the Father convinced me to move down to Mexico to start fresh when Tristan was just 5 weeks old. This move was mainly financed from my flat that he convinced me to sell, along with my car and other valuable possessions... 

All of the sudden I found myself down in Mexico isolated from all my friend and family with a psychopath who had no more use for me, therefore was very angry, spiteful, evil and started to abuse me on daily basis. My only rescue was my little boy who brightened my days, he was just perfect, smart and beautiful. Unfortunately I was trapped with no-one to turn to, no money, and no way of getting away from this horrible man. For months I was listening constantly to how I was stupid, useless, ugly, not deserving of anything good, how he detested and hated me, and if I died nobody would miss me, plus some words I wouldn't repeat... After a huge fight in a very vulnerable and lethargic moment on my Birthday I tried to take my own life. While I was unconscious I had a vision, now I believe that it was my Guardian Angel, who told me that everything would be fine, I just needed to have faith, strength and I will get the help I needed. I regret my action, that was a cry for help, that  just made my abuser hate me even more, but I had something to hold on to at least..

I was blessed with another child, she was a miracle child, because I was still breastfeeding and had a IUD. This pregnancy was a nightmare, I was hit, kicked, dragged on regular bases as the abuse was getting more and more severe. At one point I couldn't handle the situation anymore, so I left thinking that at least I should save my unborn child from her Father and move back to Europe, but I could not leave my Son behind, so I returned to my prisoner to endure more. To make things more difficult my ex made some enemies, and we almost got deported from Mexico. We had a week to leave the country, and we headed to Panama, where in September of 2003 with a level 4 concussion, a black eye and a split lip I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl, that we named Sophia. By this time I had one mission: escape with both children. I didn't know how, or when, but I knew I would do it as soon as possible. I started practicing the Silva Method; I was imagining an apartment on the beach where I was alone with my children, far away from their Father, I did this as a ritual twice a day.

As all our money ran out and none of my ex's investment prospered we had no other choice than to return to Mexico. We borrowed money from my Grandmother but soon that was gone as well. Financial troubles made my ex even more hateful and abusive. One day we ran into some girls from Hungary, I even knew one of them, it turned out that they were working at an establishment in Mexico City. This encounter gave my ex the idea to force me to work there too. I had just given birth, I was breastfeeding and this was very difficult as I was separated from my baby girl for hours, not to mention the I was forced to work at a club and dance for man. I felt so much pain, I was beaten almost daily, so I was just crying instead of working while days were going by. One day a kind and compassionate man came and set down next to me, he told me that he has seen me crying there for days and wanted to know what the issue was, he was a lawyer. When I explained to him my situation and showed him the multiple bruises I had, he suggested to go to the doctor every chance I get, and to recover my passport and the children's documents somehow, because he would help me to get far away from this place and that man. I had one choice: to trust and to have faith.

One day finally my ex left to take care of some business to Puebla, this was my chance. I had three medical records, I had stolen back our documents, I had some cash that my Granmother has sent me and I was ready to say goodbye to this toxic relationship for once and for all. I knew that my ex had no money, so I bought some groceries, packed some things, not much as most of my belongings were in a storage in Panama anyways. I left my ring on the table, and like in a movie I took two different taxis to the bus station. My Son who was dressed like a girl and my baby girl who was dressed like a boy. We headed up North where our secret life awaited. After a 30 hours bus ride in during which I couldn't even go to the restroom as I was holding a baby the whole time, we arrived to the city we would call home for years. The lawyer came through, everything was taken care of, a nice apartment rented on the beach that looked just like the one I have been imagining daily for months. I was finally safe with my babies, what a happiness.

I didn't leave the apartment for months, except to go down to the pool or to get some groceries really  quickly. I was very paranoid, slept with a chair blocking the front door and wouldn't talk to anyone, until all the money was gone. 

I had to find a job, so I started working in the hospitality industry. I met some amazing people at work; I was in sales and we were getting by in the high season, but in the low season we experienced financial hardship. I remember that at one point all I could buy was bread and I could bring home honey and jam from the hotel I worked at, so that was our dinner for weeks.

Mexico and its people had a huge impact on me, I learned so much, I made lifelong friendships, and I even had a stable, harmonious relationship with man for years. I ended up making  decent living, bought a brand new car and was able to support my children and even send them to an English private school. 

My Grandmother passed away while I was in the hiding and I couldn't be there for her at the end. For years I felt like I failed the one person who was always there for me, it was hard to forgive myself.

My Grandmother made me a better person and a better Mother. I will always love her dearly and be grateful for her impact on my life.

I was happy in Mexico, but as a Hungarian with a Panamanian and an American child no Embassy would help all three of us to return to Hungary or to the US without the Father's permission. 

After 5 years my Father came for a visit, and for the first time in my life we connected on a different level, he told me how proud I made him, because I turned out to be a decent, hardworking person and a good Mother. After his visit my ex contacted him, and my Father feeling sorry for him; naively sent him some pictures of the children. From the pictures it was obvious where we were located and at once my cover was blown. Out of fear before he found us I got in touch with him and we worked out a deal. He promised to sign the children"s traveling documents so we could all return to Hungary. Months went by and he didn't keep his promise, in the meantime the Swine Flu pandemic was happening and I had no income as the whole city was in quarantine, so I really needed to make a move soon.

Finally my ex came up with a condition; if I allowed Tristan to visit him for a couple of weeks he would sign all necessary documents for Sophia to get a Panamanian passport and travel back to Hungary with me. Once we were settled I could go and get Tristan from the US. To make a very long story short I made it back to Hungary with Sophia after facing many obstacles due to his tricks and the incomplete paperwork he sent, just to realize that he had absolutely no intention to return my Son to me. 

A new challenge presented itself, one of the biggest one in my life.

I can't imagine anything  more painful than a loss of a child. I wasn't even allowed to speak to Tristan for months, and I only could hope that he was well taken care of. 

My pain was so deep, but I had to find a way to be strong for my little girl and for my boy...

I initiated an International Child Abduction Case trough The Hague court, but as my Son was an American citizen, in the US with his American Father they told me not to have my hopes up. I had nothing else left but my hope and faith. I was again using the Silva Method to imagine that I was on a plane flying back to Hungary with Tristan...

I travelled all the way from Hungary several times to the hearings to LA, but the Father didn't bother to show up for the court dates. When he realized that my case did have bases,  he tried to make me drop the case, he made some empty promises that he would give me some of my moneys back so I could return to the US with Sophia and start a new life. I had an advisor who warned me not to undo the petition, because I could never refile it, so we asked for a three months extension, for him to gather the money. The only good thing about traveling to the hearings was that I could at least see Tristan and spend a little time with him. He didn't seem happy at all, and his teacher even told me that she hasn't seen him smile before I came for a visit. My ex again didn't fulfill his promise, instead he got a lawyer to fight me in court. After nine long months the four days trial began.. By this time all my money ran out and I couldn't pay an attorney to represent me, so I had to represent myself. I had to face many accusations and prove his lies. 

A very wise superior Judge saw right through him, and at the end Tristan was returned to me. This was one of the happiest days of my life. My dear Son had a very unpleasant experience with his Father during those nine months. He never wanted to speak or see his father again and had developed anxiety. Tristan had a very bad opinion of his father, who was again in an abusive relationship with a Columbian lady, who at least took good care of Tristan, which I am very grateful for...

In 2010 because of the volcano in Iceland all flights were cancelled for weeks, so I had some alone time with Tristan, but couldn't wait to get back to my Sophia to Hungary who was in the care of my dear Aunt.

We lived in Hungary until 2015, I had a good job, I faced some challenges with my children and I sought some alternative, holistic healing methods to address them;

My daughter's eyesight was damaged, she was 80% blind to one eye and my Son had some behavioral issues.

We tried Hellinger's Family Constellation, SRT (Spiritual Response Therapy) and Psychokinesiology just to mention a few methods.

My daughter's eyesight fully recovered and my Son's behavior has improved as well.

My Mother got unwell and I soon realized that she was close to the end in this plane of existence. I could give her care and support, and by the end I was able to forgive her and let go of all negative feelings. My Mother was loving and kind to me like never before, I knew then that she always loved me, but just didn't know how to express her feelings because she was so damaged...

When she passed away I knew that she has gone to a better place.

I had the chance to share my passion for traveling with my children to several countries always with the openness that we could move one day if we chose to and an opportunity presented itself.

I desired for them to experience different cultures is also part of their education.

In 2015 all doors seemed to be closing on me in Hungary, I lost my job, my relationship ended and I decided to move back to the US so my children would learn English properly and get to know a more liberal, free minded culture. 

In the Summer of 2015 we packed everything we could and moved to Florida. This is where my journey began with ThetaHealing. I met my friend who has healed herself from cancer with this amazing healing method and I couldn't wait to start learning about it. At that time I did have a terrible backache due to the financial burden I was carrying.

I attended a Basic and an Advanced course, and I healed my lower back, it was an instant healing during a profound session. My backache was gone, I said to myself "If I could heal this, I can heal any and all part of my my life.". Soon after we moved up North near DC where I found a promising job. 

NOVA didn't meet our expectations though, my children had trouble with the higher expectations at the school, in this job at Hilton I wasn't making enough to make ends meet and I felt very lonely. Sophia became sick, first they told me that she had Mono, so I blamed it on that for a while, but after I saw my Daughter get weaker and skinnier as days went by.

One day I arrived home from work and I saw her in her bed pale and I realized that my little girl was dying, I picked her up and took her to the emergency room again. I told them that I didn't accept a Mono diagnosis, so they better find out finally what was wrong with her. The news was shocking, she was suffering from at eating disorder; Anorexia Nervosa. We were referred to the Children's Hospital in DC where they had a special wing for eating disorder cases. I was forced to quit my job as even after she was released from the hospital she needed constant supervision and I couldn't afford a clinic and her insurance didn't even cover the previous bill... There I was again with no income, no help, no-one to turn to, so her treatment had to be alternative. During her recovery I deepened my ThetaHealing knowledge, I learned AccessBars and got familiar with Germanic New Medicine. All these modalities in different ways helped her get better. Sophia made a record recovery from her condition, she was back with all her kindness and energy and she is well ever since.

My Son also suffered from anxiety and didn't do well.